bye, coldplay. see you, maybe, in 3 more years...
Now, every time that I listen to a Coldplay song, I’ll want to cry. Seriously. I don’t know if anyone would understand this feeling, probably not. Probably everyone will a) think this is stupid and that it’s something of a spoiled little girl, or will b) not care and ignore it. But I just need to put this outside of my mind. Even though no one would understand. It’s just so unfair, so so so unfair… And I wonder, why? I mean, what do I get with this? Of course, I’m getting a lot of things. But I just wish this was not like, take it or leave it. It’s just like, putting me in front of a gun, and making me choose between 2 things, but of course, I have no choice. I mean, “Rayssa, what do you want? Exchange program, or Coldplay concert?”. But it makes me so sad, it makes me really sad. I’ve been waiting for their concert for 3 years. 3 long years, imagining the moment, imagining how excited and how involved I would be at the concert. How I would cry, how I would love, how I would scream, how I would get involved, and how I would think about my whole life, hundreds of moments, in just one concert. Each song means something; each song makes me remember one situation, one person, one moment. It really isn’t “any” band. It’s Coldplay. Coldplay for me means life, love, hate, pain, help, dream, air. It’s so much more than a band, it’s a psychologist, it’s a friend, it’s someone that expresses and understands my feelings so well, and that made me feel so better in so many moments. They represent me, they represent my life. Losing a chance to go to their concert is just, unacceptable. I won’t accept, never, never. I will always get sad when I think “yeah, Coldplay was in Brazil last year, and I didn’t go”. This makes me so sad… To wait 3 years to see them, then go to the United States and think, “yeah, now I’ll have my chance”, and then read a fucking idiot newsletter with the title, “Coldplay announce Latin America tour”. I cried, I really cried. It’s just so stupid, but at the same time it’s so important. What a fucking treat the destiny is making to me. And I know that you’ll say, “but Rayssa, think about all the things that you are living now, all the opportunities, all the news, isn’t it worthless to be sad because of a stupid concert? Come on, you’ll have more chances”. But this is not something that you can compare. The exchange program is just as important as go to a Coldplay concert. Believe me, it is. They are all dreams that I had for a long time. The only difference is the time that they last. The exchange program lasts a year, and the concert, maybe a day. But it’s a year and it’s a day that I would keep in my mind for my entire life, that would make me cry, that would make me learn, that would make me excited, that would make me want to start all over again. It’s just like, dream to be a lawyer, and at the same time, dream to go to Paris. One thing lasts a looong way more than the other. But if you had to choose, be a lawyer or go to spend some days in Paris, what would you do? The lawyer thing, of course. But wouldn't you be sad every time that you had to remember this? Because it's not something like, "oh, I'd rather stay in Brazil and go to the concert, then come to live 1 year at the US". It's not a choise that I wanted to have, and then choose the Coldplay concert. But still, makes me feel so stupid and so sad, and so unjust. And the fact that every time that I listen to a Coldplay song, I will think about all of this... doesn't really help. But I can't change it.
Bom, sei lah. Queria escrever em ingles. Devem ter erros, mas enfim, eu nunca conseguiria nem ter pensado em escrever um texto assim, 4 meses atras. E o blog foi muito bom, porque eu queria botar isso pra fora, mas o flog eh muito visto e as pessoas nao entendem. Entao sei lah.
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Ray out right now! 3:00 AM
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Rayssa, 19.
Apenas uma pessoa em busca dos seus sonhos.
